Quick Write~Beekeeper

Quick Write Number One - The Beekeeper

For the next two weeks we are going to work on ‘Quick Writes.’  This is where you are given something to write about (a writing prompt) and you only have 10mins to write as much as possible using this writing prompt.

For our writing prompts we will use either images or short videos.

The purpose of this is to practise writing fluently.

When we look at our writing prompt we will have about 10-15 mins to discuss it and brainstorm some ideas and vocabulary.   

Our learning goals are to:

-write a description, using powerful words and phrases

-include some Te Reo Māori

-carefully check that our sentences make sense and have correct punctuation and spelling.

When we are writing we need to think about…

1. What do I want my reader to see?

2) What do I want my reader to hear?

3) What do I want my reader to smell?

Tips:

-look closely at the picture or video

-think about the three key questions and the learning goals

-give yourself time to plan and write

Do your writing here

It was a warm spring morning, and as I walked up to the beehive  I smelt the sweet smell of honey. As I carefully lifted up the frame my hands started shaking and, the bees started buzzing. I started pulling off bits of honeycomb  till it was all gone. I put the frame back into hive and the bees clung onto the frame like magnets.😊😁

Robot Rampage Work

In our class this term we have been learning about narrative writing. Here is my robot rampage story.

Narrative Writing Term 3 2017

Click on the link below to watch the story starter for this week.

http://success-for-boys.tki.org.nz/Teaching-learning-resources/Story-Starters/Runaway-Robot-Rampage

Story Starter = Robot Rampage

Your Name:Lily

Story starter: Every weekend there was one job Indi hated doing cleaning her room. She’d rather be building her latest robot invention in the shed, That's it!  What if Indi could build a robot who could clean her room.

WALT: write a narrative that entertains or tells a story about people,places or events.
S.C:
Our Story will...
-have a title that captures our reader's interest
-Have an orientation/beginning that has a hook and establishes the setting and characters.
-Have a complication/problem that needs to be solved
-Have a conclusion where the problem is solved.
-Use interesting language, words, adjectives, language features such as similes, onomatopoeia
-plan our story so we know what to write about
-proof-read and edit
-make sure our sentences make sense
-use a range of punctuation
-Use some Te Reo Māori words

My two goals are: Use paragraphs, introduce the characters at the start.

Planning

Title:	The Best Inventer Ever!
Orientation/Beginning/Hook Characters	Indi the inventor, Motion the room cleaner Papa Indi’s dad who only speaks maori but understands english.
Complication/Problem	Motion malfunctions and trashes Indi’s room.
Conclusion - How does the problem get solved?	Indi Brakes motion and fixes her again, only this time she works and everyone in town wants to rent motion  therefore Indi gets rich.
Language Simile (He was as tall as a giraffe/ She was like a wild, angry gorilla that had been released from its cage!) Onomatopoeia(sound words) Interesting Adjectives (describing words) Te Reo Māori.	Motion is as clean as a rainwater Bang Clunk  squeak Kia ora

Write Your Story Here

The Best Inventer Ever

Every weekend there was one job Indi hated doing cleaning her room. She’d rather be building her latest robot invention in the shed, That's it!  What if Indi could build a robot who could clean her room! That day Indi went to her shed and found these things an old vacuum cleaner, rope, a new laundry basket, and old metal shapes to make the body.

That Friday night she stayed up all night building her robot. BANG, CLANK, CRASH these sounds were as loud as a gorilla all night! The next day her robot was built! Her father had been wondering where she was all night. When she came in her dad said “Kia ora Kei hea koe i te po katoa?”(Hello, where have you been all night?) “Well I was out in the shed,” “He pai.” (that’s ok) Indi went into the shed and grabbed her robot. She walked back into the house and went to her room and she grabbed her remote and said, “Your name is Motion.”

She pushed start on her remote and Motion burst into life! Indi  thought Motion was as clean as rainwater Indi no longer had to clean her room for weeks until….

One day when Indi came home from school her Papa said “He tino paru to rūma!” (Your room is a mess what happened?) Indi ran to her room as quick as she could, she opened the door and found Motion trashing her room with old clothes and rubbish from the bin! Indi tried pushing the off button on the remote but it wouldn’t work! Indi decided to brake Motion and fix him again. She finally stopped Motion and she broke him apart. She found out what happened after 3 hours of trying to figure out what had happened, she had overworked Motion! Indi Tried to fix Motion twice but Motion would not stop making a mess!

Indi tried once more and Motion worked! Motion was up and running again Motion cleaned up all of the mess he had made. Plus Motion got Indi's dad to speak english! Indi made a business out of Motion, and charged $20 an hour, and that worked! By the time she worked for two years she had reached a Million dollars!

How did you go?

What do you think you did well?  

Adding Paragraphs.

What could you work on next time?

Adding more topic specific words.

Teacher Feedback:

Kia ora Lily

I really enjoyed reading your story.  It was great to see you achieving your goals of using paragraphs and introducing your characters at the start.

I thought you used some interesting language, good punctuation and made the story entertaining for the reader.

Your next step it to read your work carefully as there are still a few full stops missing.

A great story Lily. Ka pai tō mahi tuhituhi.

My Elections Work

The last two week our class has been learning about the 2017 General Elections. We had to make our own politcal parties, here is my work.