Friday 6 April 2018

Ed Sheeran Trip

This is my recount about my trip to Ed Sheeran.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for telling me about your trip to see Ed Sheeran. It was so cool that you, Mum and Jonas got to go to this together. You sequenced your work well and good spelling and punctuation. Your next step is to remember that in a recount like this you want to entertain the reader so you have to think carefully about what information is the important information to include and also what interesting language can you use? Using your senses (touch, see, taste, smell, hear) is often a good way to do this. We will be working on descriptive language in Term Two so I look forward to seeing you think carefully about using interesting language.

    I liked how you went back and described more for me what it was like watching Ed Sheeran on stage and what he did. Ka pai.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.