Persuasive Writing-Why we Should fix our feild

We have been having a go at writing a piece of persuasive writing. Here is my piece of writing about why we should  fix our field.

Title A Short Statement about the topic. eg. ‘Rugby League Is A Great Sport’	Fix Our Field💮
Overview/ Statement of position A brief statement of your view about the topic.  What you believe or want to argue.	I strongly believe we should need to fix our field RIGHT NOW! Here are my reasons why we all want our field back. A Lot of our  sports equipment is not in use because we don't have the field, the field is a massive part of our school and it is going to waste, everyone at our school misses the field and we need the field back for events like cross country. The gala. these are the reasons why we need our field fixed.
Series of Arguments Reasons Your points supporting your view about the topic.  Your arguments to support your statement and information to support these arguments. Remember -argument -supporting detail, reasons, examples	Firstly,most of our sports equipment is not in use because we don't have the field to play soccer, rugby and lots more games with PE gear. We don't have enough room on the court to play lots of PE games at once, and we need the field to play more games.
	Secondly, the whīra (field) is a massive part of our school and it will go to waste . If we fix our field we will have less injuries and more space for children to play. Explain why we will have less injuries.
	Thirdly, I think everyone at our school misses the whīra(field)  and strongly feels they should have it back to do gymnastics and lots of other sports.Gymnastics and other sports are good because we can stay fit and strong and not be bored at play and lunch time.
	Finally, if we get our whīra (field) back we can have events like cross country and other events like the gala. We need the field to have the gala and I know every body at this school loves the gala and we all want the gala to happen as soon as possible! the gala  raises money for the school to use on buses and shows.
Concluding statement Summing it up.  A summary of your arguments and your view on the topic.	In conclusion we need our field for events,sports gear,everyone wants our field back and we also lour our field. The feild is a massive part of our school and it will go to waist. IT IS IMPORTANT WE HAVE A FIELD AT KARORO SCHOOL! CAN YOU imagine this school without a field?